Single Mommy

June 30, 2008

My husband’s grandmother is ill, and he was gone for a few days last week.  I was so afraid to be a single Mommy.  It’s hard to do both daycare runs, make all the meals, do all the bedtime stuff and stay sane when you are by yourself.  I know that lots of people do this every day, but I am not lots of people.  I’m barely competent getting myself through the day.  I can’t handle a little person, too.

But, I can!  I was a kickass single mommy!  Of course, the little dude didn’t sleep, but I just handled it.  In the past week I’ve only slept about three hours a night, but even that is OK.  I feel shockingly alright.  We ate healthy meals, visited my mom, played (and I didn’t get that bored!) and survived just fine.  He really missed his Papa, though, but now my son is punishing his dad by being in a giant and overwhelming Mommy Phase.  I’ve never felt so loved in all my life.  Even my dogs have never celebrated my return from the bathroom with as much ceremony.  “Mama!” he cries, and runs and throws his arms around my knees.  “I was just going potty, Bubber.”  “Mama!”  Suck it, Papa! 

I’ve been taking this “PMS cocktail” of vitamins.  B 6, Calcium and Magnesium.  I take a regular 1 a Day, the B (it’s called “Energy B”) and a fish oil in the morning, and the Calcium and Magnesium after dinner.  I feel *great*.  I mean *great*.  It’s the week before, and usually my PMS would have me screaming at my husband and walking counter-clockwise around him yelling “I divorce you, I divorce you, I divorce you”.  Not this week.  I am, however, having some stomach issues, which might be the Magnesium, and some insomnia-panic-anxiety issues that might be the B.  It also could be that it was my birthday and I am eating like crap (I got a gorgeous tote bag filled with all the candy in the city as a gift!) and that my son is getting two molars so instead of being up twice a night he’s up all night.  I’m going to stick with it for another month, and then adjust if I’m still having issues.  I don’t really care about the stomach stuff, honestly, but not being able to sleep even when the Bub is sleeping is not acceptable.  And, I’m all keyed up and nervous all day.  Part of that is nice, but it needs to be dialed down a notch.

Last night we got the babe to sleep at 2 a.m.  and I lay awake, doing every relaxation technique in the book, until after 4 a.m.  I even got up and did yoga.  My heart was beating so strongly it was shaking the bed.  I lay on the floor for a while, trying to settle down.  I hope I can get that under control and sleep tonight.  I really need to cut coffee back a little bit.  I’m in the cycle where the caffeine keeps me up, but I need it to keep me up!  In fact, just typing that makes me think the coffee could be the blame for my stomach and for the nerves.  Tomorrow, I’ll have to brave the headache and cut it way back.


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