June 15, 2008

My son isn’t sleeping again.  This is harder than when he wasn’t sleeping the whole first year.  I just had gotten used to putting him down at 8:30 and being childless until 7:30.  I had a few, glorious months of that and now it’s back to rocking and bouncing and singing for an hour while he cries and screams, and then doing the same a few more times throughout the night. 

And let me tell you, walking laps bouncing a 22 pounder is way more tiring than bouncing around a 7 pound newborn.  My arms are just aching.  I don’t even know why I started the bouncing.  I just got desperate a few nights ago, and now he won’t sleep without the bouncing.  I had to explain it to my husband when it was his turn to attend to the Bub at 2 a.m., “Hey, I forgot to tell you, you have to walk around and bounce him.”  I swear, if my husband had had the energy, he would have divorced me right then and there.  But if you don’t bounce, he screams like a banshee and bumps his head around all crazy. 

Today, I got a bad haircut.  It’s about 2 inches shorter than I wanted.  It’s about 8 inches shorter than before the cut.  I don’t know how you confuse shoulder length with chin length, but bloody hell it’s a way shorter bob that I wanted.

Tonight, when I was trying and trying to get the Bub to sleep–he has an ear infection and strep throat so it’s even harder to get him down, I sort of lost it.  I was crying as much as he was.  It was just the hair, and the sleepless nights, and other stuff all combined.  I kept saying, “you have to go to sleep, you just have to, I can’t take anymore, I can’t be a mom right now.”  It was horrible.  I pulled myself together, but I hope I didn’t scare him.  And I hope he won’t need too much therapy down the road.


One Response to “Crappity”

  1. Annemarie Says:

    Ack! I’m so sorry. Hey, if you need to get out or vent or anything, you know my number (I think) if you don’t, email me.

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